Much of my life has been controlled by fear. For some people that know me, this may come as a shock. I’m a loud mouthed extrovert! What in the world could I possibly be afraid of?
Well, for starters, this. Starting yet another blog that goes nowhere, that no one reads, and that ultimately won’t matter. Writing something that will make people think I’m not cool, hip, or relevant. And yet, I am constantly confronted with this stupid annoying feeling in my chest that simply tells me to write.
Here’s what I care about: making this world better and finding other folks who want to make it better. I want to be reminded of both the beauty and tragedy that comes with being human. I want to not have anxiety over the fact that this blog is indeed insignificant (in the grand scheme of the universe), as is (ultimately) the life I live. I want to find joy and hope in that idea, without being morbid or nihilist. I want to dare to not be very good at blogging. But mostly, I want to speak. I want to believe that what I say can matter. I want to not use the excuse that I’m not terribly good at always having the same tenses in my sentences or that I tend to use the same words over and over and over again. (See what I did there?)
I want the world to know that I am a Christian-queer-feminist-Latina and that I hold those identities inside me and proudly. So if you’re interested in that, I think we can have a rockin’ good time. Also, I’m afraid of not knowing how to end posts properly, as evidenced by “a rockin’ good time.”
Maybe it’ll be better next time?